9th May 2010
9th May 2010
Hi Princess,
Last night was a pretty rough night. The first night without you. I couldn't hear you talk in your sleep, or cry, but I could hear all the other mums babies and that tore my heart out.
I cried myself to sleep around 2am, then woke up at 5am and thought I should express for you. The nurses were busy, so I tried to do it myself but I couldn't. I literally got 1 drop from each breast and that was it. I felt utterly useless, so I went back to sleep and woke up about 8am, also in tears.
It's Mother's Day today. Last night the nurses on the ward said Happy Mother's Day and I burst into tears. This morning we all got flowers and Ferro Rochers which made me smile.
The lovely student nurse helped me express 1.2mL at 8am and was good to talk to. We just talked crap, but she caught me crying when she walked in and I told her I missed you.
I used my bowels today! Too much info? I have been really worried because I didn't know where the stitches are and I can feel pressure around that area, so I thought if I go to the toilet, I might tear the stitches. So all day yesterday I had about half a liter of orange juice, fruit and a wholemeal sandwich for dinner. Then asked the nurse for something, so it was good I used them today!
Anyway bub, I'm going to have a shower and hopefully get a hold of your dad to tell him to visit you, because I'm guessing you will be missing us too.
Love you
Mum
xoxo
9th May 2010 9:10 PM
Well, my little Princess, you are getting better and so am I 😊
Your Billy Reuben levels are declining, whatever that means, so hopefully with the next blood test they see another decline, then they will be able to turn off all but 2 lights and I will be able to breastfeed you again.
Until then, I have to continue to express, which is horrible, but it looks like my milk is coming through so I should be able to use the machine. I was able to express 2mls earlier however my boobs are so sore, so I wasn't able to express anything at 9pm.
Just before bed, I will express for your midnight feed. Feeding you is keeping me sane! If I didn't have a routine and get the skin to skin contact I think I would be a mess.
I kind of do want to go home tomorrow but I know going home without you is going to be really upsetting and if my milk doesn't come through, I'm not sure how that is going to turn out. I might organize a syringe and a cup and try and manually express now.
Today is Mother's Day and you bought me a lovely bunch of flowers a card, and a box of Ferrero Rocher! If the nurse wasn't in the room when your dad came to see me, I would have burst into tears.
It's funny, your handwriting looks exactly the same as your dads!
The card had:
On the front - To the one, I love on Mother's Day (with a cute bear and a bunch of flowers)
On the inside, the printing said - With lots of love on this special day
Then you wrote:
To mum,
I know I'm already causing you grief! But I will be OK!
With lots of love mummy, happy first Mother's Day
From Princess
xxoo
This brings tears to my eyes now. It's beautiful. It's definitely a card I am going to keep. Your dad can be pretty sweet and thoughtful when he wants to be.
Alright baby girl, I love you
Mum
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Hi Princess,
Last night was a pretty rough night. The first night without you. I couldn't hear you talk in your sleep, or cry, but I could hear all the other mums babies and that tore my heart out.
I cried myself to sleep around 2am, then woke up at 5am and thought I should express for you. The nurses were busy, so I tried to do it myself but I couldn't. I literally got 1 drop from each breast and that was it. I felt utterly useless, so I went back to sleep and woke up about 8am, also in tears.
It's Mother's Day today. Last night the nurses on the ward said Happy Mother's Day and I burst into tears. This morning we all got flowers and Ferro Rochers which made me smile.
The lovely student nurse helped me express 1.2mL at 8am and was good to talk to. We just talked crap, but she caught me crying when she walked in and I told her I missed you.
I used my bowels today! Too much info? I have been really worried because I didn't know where the stitches are and I can feel pressure around that area, so I thought if I go to the toilet, I might tear the stitches. So all day yesterday I had about half a liter of orange juice, fruit and a wholemeal sandwich for dinner. Then asked the nurse for something, so it was good I used them today!
Anyway bub, I'm going to have a shower and hopefully get a hold of your dad to tell him to visit you, because I'm guessing you will be missing us too.
Love you
Mum
xoxo
9th May 2010 9:10 PM
Well, my little Princess, you are getting better and so am I 😊
Your Billy Reuben levels are declining, whatever that means, so hopefully with the next blood test they see another decline, then they will be able to turn off all but 2 lights and I will be able to breastfeed you again.
Until then, I have to continue to express, which is horrible, but it looks like my milk is coming through so I should be able to use the machine. I was able to express 2mls earlier however my boobs are so sore, so I wasn't able to express anything at 9pm.
Just before bed, I will express for your midnight feed. Feeding you is keeping me sane! If I didn't have a routine and get the skin to skin contact I think I would be a mess.
I kind of do want to go home tomorrow but I know going home without you is going to be really upsetting and if my milk doesn't come through, I'm not sure how that is going to turn out. I might organize a syringe and a cup and try and manually express now.
Today is Mother's Day and you bought me a lovely bunch of flowers a card, and a box of Ferrero Rocher! If the nurse wasn't in the room when your dad came to see me, I would have burst into tears.
It's funny, your handwriting looks exactly the same as your dads!
The card had:
On the front - To the one, I love on Mother's Day (with a cute bear and a bunch of flowers)
On the inside, the printing said - With lots of love on this special day
Then you wrote:
To mum,
I know I'm already causing you grief! But I will be OK!
With lots of love mummy, happy first Mother's Day
From Princess
xxoo
This brings tears to my eyes now. It's beautiful. It's definitely a card I am going to keep. Your dad can be pretty sweet and thoughtful when he wants to be.
Alright baby girl, I love you
Mum
Start reading the journals by clicking here.
Click here to read the next journal entry
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