3rd February 2010
3rd February 2010
Dear Cassidy,
I’m warming to the name again!
I weighed myself tonight and nearly died, 108 kg. Three years ago I was a gorgeous girl who could have any man I wanted and I weighed 65 kg. If I got to 70 kg I will go on a crash diet to stay underneath that! Nanna would be ashamed of me now.
Your Dad has joined the gym with his be but, it’s boys only. I’m not allowed. It’s kind of nice to have time to myself when he goes, but tonight, I feel kind of low, Only because I keep thinking that he didn’t promise me that he wouldn’t see anybody else and me of all people know a good alibi for an affair, same-gender activities, who’s to say you meet someone at the gym, he wants to be there five days a week. I wouldn’t be any wiser, Chris is loyalty would be to John not me. I can’t start losing weight for the next three months, I’m screwed.
I hate this doubt. I have never been jealous except for Zach but that’s another story. I have never had to worry about losing a guy before either, it’s not a nice place to be. Fuck why can’t we just go back to the way it was. I was happy, I fucking propose didn’t I? Obviously not enough. Jeez, so much self-pity it’s sickening. Hormones suck.
Sorry Barb, you don’t have to read this. Time to go
Love you
Mum
Xoxo
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Dear Cassidy,
I’m warming to the name again!
I weighed myself tonight and nearly died, 108 kg. Three years ago I was a gorgeous girl who could have any man I wanted and I weighed 65 kg. If I got to 70 kg I will go on a crash diet to stay underneath that! Nanna would be ashamed of me now.
Your Dad has joined the gym with his be but, it’s boys only. I’m not allowed. It’s kind of nice to have time to myself when he goes, but tonight, I feel kind of low, Only because I keep thinking that he didn’t promise me that he wouldn’t see anybody else and me of all people know a good alibi for an affair, same-gender activities, who’s to say you meet someone at the gym, he wants to be there five days a week. I wouldn’t be any wiser, Chris is loyalty would be to John not me. I can’t start losing weight for the next three months, I’m screwed.
I hate this doubt. I have never been jealous except for Zach but that’s another story. I have never had to worry about losing a guy before either, it’s not a nice place to be. Fuck why can’t we just go back to the way it was. I was happy, I fucking propose didn’t I? Obviously not enough. Jeez, so much self-pity it’s sickening. Hormones suck.
Sorry Barb, you don’t have to read this. Time to go
Love you
Mum
Xoxo
Was this the first entry you read. Head back to the start so you get the full picture.
Click here to go to the next journal entry
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