31st May 2015
Nearly a year later
31st May 2015
Dear Princess,
I have just re-read all my entries, and I have realized the message has been consistent. I just want your dad to love me, care for us and to be happy. It's our 8 year sort-of anniversary next fortnight and he broke up with me again last weekend.
We have been having issues because I have been working full time. I'm also studying for my Master's degree and my life is full on. Oh, and it's so terrible of me to ask for his support around the house.
I'm sick of living like a slob, but your dad doesn't help at all. He always has conditions for everything. He wont do the dishes because I don't rinse every food scrap off the plate before it goes into the dishwasher. He refuses to put out the bin because he doesn't agree with it being in the cupboard. He doesn't do something on principle if I ask him to do it. He doesn't dress you because apparently that is my job.
So we broke up. Then the following day I told him that breaking up wasn't what I wanted because I want you to have a together family, so I tried to work with his conditions again, and reach some middle ground.
The more I tried to take a different perpective, he turned around and said his way was the "right way" so there was no compromise whatsoever.
On Monday at work I was a mess. I cried, consulted with one of my colleagues who already knows a bit of our history and she said I was crazy to be still with him.
I spoke to mum, and she pointed me to Aspbergers Sydrome, and suddenly it all made sense.
No empathy, no emotions, the way he is so logical, so fixated on stuff. That's your dad.
So I thought, maybe being the nurturing person I am, I could help him. I tried to give him an emotional awareness excerise but that didn't work. (My current self-interrupting! What the hell was I thinking!!!!!)
So a couple of nights ago, I told him that I gave up and I will give him 4 months to clean up his act and start being nice to me, clean up around the house and for him to tell me that he loves me, or we would move out separately. (My current self-interrupting! Why, why, why did I give him 4 months?)
All week, he hasn't even wanted to start learning about strategies. He hasn't even made an effort. So last night I literally told him to "fuck off and go and live with his parents". But he is still here, burning my heart and ruining my life, so now, I will be the one who has to leave.
Love you
Mum
xoxo
Was this the first entry you read. Head back to the start so you get the full picture.
Click here to read the next journal entry
31st May 2015
Dear Princess,
I have just re-read all my entries, and I have realized the message has been consistent. I just want your dad to love me, care for us and to be happy. It's our 8 year sort-of anniversary next fortnight and he broke up with me again last weekend.
We have been having issues because I have been working full time. I'm also studying for my Master's degree and my life is full on. Oh, and it's so terrible of me to ask for his support around the house.
I'm sick of living like a slob, but your dad doesn't help at all. He always has conditions for everything. He wont do the dishes because I don't rinse every food scrap off the plate before it goes into the dishwasher. He refuses to put out the bin because he doesn't agree with it being in the cupboard. He doesn't do something on principle if I ask him to do it. He doesn't dress you because apparently that is my job.
So we broke up. Then the following day I told him that breaking up wasn't what I wanted because I want you to have a together family, so I tried to work with his conditions again, and reach some middle ground.
The more I tried to take a different perpective, he turned around and said his way was the "right way" so there was no compromise whatsoever.
On Monday at work I was a mess. I cried, consulted with one of my colleagues who already knows a bit of our history and she said I was crazy to be still with him.
I spoke to mum, and she pointed me to Aspbergers Sydrome, and suddenly it all made sense.
No empathy, no emotions, the way he is so logical, so fixated on stuff. That's your dad.
So I thought, maybe being the nurturing person I am, I could help him. I tried to give him an emotional awareness excerise but that didn't work. (My current self-interrupting! What the hell was I thinking!!!!!)
So a couple of nights ago, I told him that I gave up and I will give him 4 months to clean up his act and start being nice to me, clean up around the house and for him to tell me that he loves me, or we would move out separately. (My current self-interrupting! Why, why, why did I give him 4 months?)
All week, he hasn't even wanted to start learning about strategies. He hasn't even made an effort. So last night I literally told him to "fuck off and go and live with his parents". But he is still here, burning my heart and ruining my life, so now, I will be the one who has to leave.
Love you
Mum
xoxo
Was this the first entry you read. Head back to the start so you get the full picture.
Click here to read the next journal entry
Comments
Post a Comment