21 January 2010
21 January 2010
Dear Cassidy,
51 work days to go until I am officially on maternity leave, not that I’m counting. I feel like I need the break. I have five minutes of work left today so I thought I would fill it in writing to you.
You are giving me the most bizarre dreams lately. I nearly had a rocket fall on me, I have been a sniper, in a bus accident, due to an earthquake and last night’s dream was equally strange but it has escaped my mind for the moment.
Two minutes to go! Maybe I will slowly start packing up!
Love you
Mum
xoxo
26 January 2010
Hey beautiful!
It’s Australia day today so it was a public holiday which equals no work! It’s great because it feels like a Sunday but tomorrow is already Wednesday! Last night was pretty funny…
30th of January 2010
Your dad interrupted the last entry! As I was saying Australia day was pretty funny as your dad got really drunk and hiccuped and threw up all the way home. I couldn’t drive over 37 km/h because it was too fast for him, but he was in good spirits which felt good. I was hoping that the Tiler would have finished by today so I could have a shower but I’m not so lucky.
Tonight was interesting, I confronted your dad with our relationship status, and as usual, he did nothing or said anything to clarify the issue.
He did say that he is happy at the moment regardless if I’m not and he expects me to move into the next house with him. He also calls me his, “missus,” so I guess in some fucked-up retard way, that means we are together, but whatever, it just gives me the shits that I want to look forward to having a future with you both and I can’t because he’s putting a wall up.
I asked him what he would say if I asked him to marry him again, hypothetically, and he said he would say "no because we are far from that", but how are we supposed to get closer to that if he can’t even admit that we are in a relationship?
Maybe one day I will just leave and see how happy he is then. Too bad I can’t call that bluff because then I might risk losing the fucker instead. Grr, I'm glad he’s happy, although he is stealing my happiness because he’s too scared to change.
Let’s see what the tarot cards say.
Ace of Wands - to start a new beginning I have to have strength and self-reliance to understand. Although your dad and I see things differently we are two sides of the same coin. In the end, your dad has the power to make or break us.
Four of cups – at the moment we have structure and order, and we can depend on each other’s intentions. It will remain stable but there’s always an opportunity for secrecy???
Six of cups – we are lucky to have found each other and gotten through everything we have with a smile. We have made a balance of harmony and with that will bring good fortune as long as I keep an open mind and an optimistic way of thinking.
Prince of wands - Your dad is a leader, he knows what I want and can use it to his advantage, however, the prince is always loyal.
Ace of pentacles – even though your dad is the leader and holds the key to my heart I still have some power to captivate him.
Princess of swords – I have the ability to leave the relationship or cut through falsehood and persevere. We are still young so we have plenty of time to figure things out.
Together we complement each other, the temper and masculine aspect of your dad, and the softer decisive role of myself. (Queen of Swords) we are good together and everybody knows that I just have to be patient. What I want will eventually come, but it won’t come without hard work. We have come so far but we still have a journey ahead of us and the baby will definitely be a test for us both.
Well then, I guess it settled, stay and persevere, two sides of the same coin but we are still stuck together and commitment is really all I’m searching for.
Love you
Mum
Xoxo
Was this the first entry you read. Head back to the start so you get the full picture.
Click here to go to the next journal entry
Dear Cassidy,
51 work days to go until I am officially on maternity leave, not that I’m counting. I feel like I need the break. I have five minutes of work left today so I thought I would fill it in writing to you.
You are giving me the most bizarre dreams lately. I nearly had a rocket fall on me, I have been a sniper, in a bus accident, due to an earthquake and last night’s dream was equally strange but it has escaped my mind for the moment.
Two minutes to go! Maybe I will slowly start packing up!
Love you
Mum
xoxo
26 January 2010
Hey beautiful!
It’s Australia day today so it was a public holiday which equals no work! It’s great because it feels like a Sunday but tomorrow is already Wednesday! Last night was pretty funny…
30th of January 2010
Your dad interrupted the last entry! As I was saying Australia day was pretty funny as your dad got really drunk and hiccuped and threw up all the way home. I couldn’t drive over 37 km/h because it was too fast for him, but he was in good spirits which felt good. I was hoping that the Tiler would have finished by today so I could have a shower but I’m not so lucky.
Tonight was interesting, I confronted your dad with our relationship status, and as usual, he did nothing or said anything to clarify the issue.
He did say that he is happy at the moment regardless if I’m not and he expects me to move into the next house with him. He also calls me his, “missus,” so I guess in some fucked-up retard way, that means we are together, but whatever, it just gives me the shits that I want to look forward to having a future with you both and I can’t because he’s putting a wall up.
I asked him what he would say if I asked him to marry him again, hypothetically, and he said he would say "no because we are far from that", but how are we supposed to get closer to that if he can’t even admit that we are in a relationship?
Maybe one day I will just leave and see how happy he is then. Too bad I can’t call that bluff because then I might risk losing the fucker instead. Grr, I'm glad he’s happy, although he is stealing my happiness because he’s too scared to change.
Let’s see what the tarot cards say.
Ace of Wands - to start a new beginning I have to have strength and self-reliance to understand. Although your dad and I see things differently we are two sides of the same coin. In the end, your dad has the power to make or break us.
Four of cups – at the moment we have structure and order, and we can depend on each other’s intentions. It will remain stable but there’s always an opportunity for secrecy???
Six of cups – we are lucky to have found each other and gotten through everything we have with a smile. We have made a balance of harmony and with that will bring good fortune as long as I keep an open mind and an optimistic way of thinking.
Prince of wands - Your dad is a leader, he knows what I want and can use it to his advantage, however, the prince is always loyal.
Ace of pentacles – even though your dad is the leader and holds the key to my heart I still have some power to captivate him.
Princess of swords – I have the ability to leave the relationship or cut through falsehood and persevere. We are still young so we have plenty of time to figure things out.
Together we complement each other, the temper and masculine aspect of your dad, and the softer decisive role of myself. (Queen of Swords) we are good together and everybody knows that I just have to be patient. What I want will eventually come, but it won’t come without hard work. We have come so far but we still have a journey ahead of us and the baby will definitely be a test for us both.
Well then, I guess it settled, stay and persevere, two sides of the same coin but we are still stuck together and commitment is really all I’m searching for.
Love you
Mum
Xoxo
Was this the first entry you read. Head back to the start so you get the full picture.
Click here to go to the next journal entry
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